Teaching Children to Have High Moral Standards – a Bahá'í Approach

One of the clients in my Bahá'í-inspired life coaching practice posed this question: How do we encourage our kids to have higher moral standards than society around us, without making them feel isolated from their classmates?

Perhaps the first thing is to be a good role model ourselves. Our children must see that our deeds match our words. If we don’t drink, do drugs, smoke, or have extra-marital sex, our children will accept this is the norm and be uncomfortable around people who do.

Get them into a junior youth program, so they can discuss these issues with their peers and a youth animator, who is slightly older.

It’s helpful to study these compilations with them and get their comments:

Youth Can Move the World
A Chaste and Holy Life
Individual Rights and Freedoms.

There is a powerful protection for our souls in saying the Obligatory prayers and 95 Alláh-u-Abhás each day, so encouraging our children to recite these prayers will ensure they are protected, and that way, the job is in God’s hands.

Moderation is a wonderful virtue! It’s easy to become outraged by the lyrics on the music they listen to, or by the sexually explicit music videos they watch, or the computer games and movies they view. A natural tendency would be to ban them all.

Recently I came across the concept of vertical vs. Horizontal influences. Vertical influences are the ones which raise our souls up to our Creator, and horizontal influences are ones that keep us trapped in the prison of self. If there is a balance between the 2 influences in our children’s lives, they should feel connected both to their peers and to God.

How do you teach your kids to have high moral standards? Post your comments here:

Abundance in Baha'i Inspired Life Coaching

One day someone asked me what the key to abundance was, and you know what I answered?

I bet you thought I was going to say “prayer”, didn’t you? And no, it wasn’t “grace” either, though both things are necessary.

Remember this quote from Ruhi Book 1? I had tutored this book countless times before I finally “got it”.

The WHOLE DUTY of man in this Day is to attain that share of the flood of grace which God poureth forth for him.
(Baha'u'llah, Gleanings from the Writings of Baha'u'llah, p. 8)

Not only this, but sometimes I feel guilty for reaching for the bounties, but God alleviates this fear, and gives me a reason to do it:

Strive ye to receive your share of this eternal food, so that ye shall be loved and cherished in this world and the next.
('Abdu'l-Baha, Selections from the Writings of 'Abdu'l-Baha, p. 77)

When I finally I understood these 2 quotes, I couldn’t believe that my full time job was to “catch the goodies that God is showering upon me, and that not only would I get the “goodies” but also be loved in both worlds!” YES! This is heady stuff! “The Secret” has nothing on these Bahá'í quotes!

And how does one receive abundance? By paying the Right of God (Huqúqu’lláh) . . . :

It is clear and evident that the payment of the Right of God is conducive to prosperity . . .
(Huqúqu’lláh, p. 2)

However, the people are as yet ignorant of its significance.
(Huqúqu’lláh, p. 15)

. . . and by giving sacrificially to the Bahá'í Fund.

Be ye assured that in place of these contributions, your agriculture, your industry, and your commerce will be blessed by manifold increases, with goodly gifts and bestowals. He who cometh with one goodly deed will receive a TENFOLD
REWARD.
(Baha'i Prayers, p. 83)

Where in this day and age, can we find a guaranteed 10% return on investment we can trust?

So this is something I practice on a regular basis. Whether it’s giving with my time, my knowledge or my money, I give freely, and turn the cup of my life heavenward, to make sure I catch every bounty coming my way.

There’s another element which I found interesting: gratitude.

Arise to offer thanks to God, in order that thanksgiving may conduce to the increase of bounty.
('Abdu'l-Bahá, Tablets of 'Abdu'l-Bahá, p. 484.)

If we aren’t grateful for the things we already have, why would God give us any more?

Knowing God’s promises has taken a lot of pressure off my shoulders, and whenever I find myself getting worried about money, I remember to ask Him to let me do the work and let Him find the money.

The bounties aren’t always cheques in the mail. Sometime a friend makes extra food and brings some over. Other times, someone takes me out for dinner and pays for it. Sometimes, an overbooked day gets cancelled so I have some needed time to myself, and sometimes it’s payment for an act of service. A few months ago, a friend sold me a car on a “pay me when you can, interest free” plan, charging me half the market value! Recently a “soup kitchen” has opened in our community, free to anyone who wants to go. They serve 3 course meals twice a week, and there are always leftovers to take home for meals in between! As a single person living a busy life, I don’t always have time to shop or cook and there isn’t much incentive to cook on my own, so now I’m eating much more healthy foods, on a regular basis and I am grateful!

What forms has abundance taken in your life? Post your comments here.

Friends and Bahá'í-inspired Life Coaching

The other day, I got one of those emails that you were asked to send on to 10 people or something bad would happen. I always delete these emails, but this one had a message that resonated for me. It didn’t attribute the author, so I can’t give credit here. My apologies.

“People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.. When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend and they are.They are there for the reason you need them to be. The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow or learn. They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it, it is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons, things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.”

Friends are like balloons; once you let them go, you might not get them back. Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives and problems that we may not even notice that we've let them fly away. Who have you let fly away and what will you do to let them know they’re still important?

What are your thoughts about friendships? Post your comments here:

Mona, Angel of Shiraz

I came into the Baha'i Faith in 1982, and have been very moved by stories of the martyrs of the Faith ever since, including the story of Mona Mahmudnizhad, a 16 year old who was martyred for her beliefs in 1983. This video is in French but the graphics tell her story very well. Get your kleenex before hitting play!

Debt and Bahá'í-Inspired Life Coaching

The topic of debt presents an interesting dilemma for most of us living in a mortgage, loan and credit card dependent society. We’re told that the foundation of our economic life rests on the settlement of our debts. Most of us understand the importance of regular and sacrificial donation to the fund, and are heartened to know that in place of these contributions, we will be rewarded tenfold. And most of us give to the fund. However, we are told that debts should be considered as sacred and take precedence over contributions to the Cause. In addition, we are told that we should pay our Right of God before our contributions to the Cause or before going on pilgrimage. So if we take care of our debts and the Right of God first, how will we have anything left over to give the fund? What are your thoughts on debt? Post your comments here:

God Centred Baha'i-Inspired Life Coaching

In the Bahá'í Writings, we are told that our purpose in life is to know God, and to worship Him (we remind ourselves of this every day when we say the short obligatory prayer. But how can we keep this at the forefront of our day?

Here is something I do: Before I get out of bed in the morning, I take a moment to appreciate the day ahead of me, and to remember who is in charge. I determine to make my behaviour today, better than yesterday, and I turn my day over to God, so that my movement and my stillness is wholly directed by Him. My heart is sanctified from everything except God and I take care to put Him ahead of all else at all times and under all conditions. I don't pretend to know where my life will take me next, nor do I inquire or seek to know. I am in the flow of life and comfortable with the blessings which flow my way. I ask God daily to guide my steps aright through His inspiration, and am assured that every move I make is in accordance with Divine wisdom.

What do you do, to stay centre your life on God? Post your comments here:

Death – A Messenger of Joy

A Bahá'í friend of mine died recently of cancer; too young; her daughter only 21 . . .

My first reaction when I got the email was of gratitude that she had been released from this earthly prison and was reunited with her Lord. This was tinged with a bit of envy . . .

I called another friend to tell her and could hardly read the email, I was crying so hard.

What is this thing called grief? And why do we cry when we know we’ll see each other in a twinkling of an eye? When we know she’s in the celestial rose garden?

I haven’t seen her in over 10 years. I moved away. We lost touch. She pioneered to Kuwait. I didn’t feel bad when she pioneered, so why do I cry when she’s pioneered to the ‘Abhá Kingdom?

And I remember 'Abdul-Bahá’s lament to Thomas Breakwell, a man he’d only met a short time before his death. It goes on for pages . . .

Aren’t we lucky to have 'Abdul-Bahá as our Exemplar?!

A friend asked: "How should one look forward to death?" He answered: "How does one look forward to the goal of any journey? With hope and with expectation. It is even so with the end of this earthly journey. In the next world, man will find himself freed from many of the disabilities under which he now suffers. Those who have passed on through death, have a sphere of their own. It is not removed from ours; their work, the work of the Kingdom, is ours; but it is sanctified from what we call 'time and place.' Time with us is measured by the sun. When there is no more sunrise, and no more sunset, that kind of time does not exist for man. Those who have ascended have different attributes from those who are still on earth, yet there is no real separation.
(‘Abdu'l-Bahá in London, p. 95)

Good Bye, Ellen! I know you’ve been promised a service in both worlds, so if you get a chance, I could sure use your help as I gear up to serve people in my Bahá'í-inspired life coaching endeavor!

What’s helped you get through grief? Post your comments here!

Laughter - a Source of Solace

A friend of mine sent me an email this morning, one of those chain things, that you are expected to send on to others. It was meant to be funny, and as I deleted it, I thought about the differences in our sense of humor. And I wondered what 'Abdul-Bahá would have made of it and how it would apply to Bahá'í-inspired life coaching.

And then I remembered the following story:

'Abdu'l-Bahá loved laughter and His laughter was often a source of solace . . . When they were in prison, He said, and under the utmost deprivation and difficulties, each of them at the close of the day would relate the most ludicrous event which had happened. Sometimes it was difficult to find one but always they would laugh until the tears would run down their cheeks. Happiness, He said, is never de­pendent upon material surroundings, otherwise, how sad those years would have been. As it was they were always in the utmost state of joy and happiness . . .
(Annamarie Honnold, Vignettes from the Life of 'Abdu'l-Bahá,
pp.149-151.)

And I thought of the following quote from the Bahá'í Writings:

. . . while laughter should not be suppressed or frowned upon,
it should not be indulged in at the expense of the feelings of others. What one says or does in a humorous vein should not give rise to prejudice of any kind. You may recall 'Abdu'l-Baha's caution “Beware lest ye offend the feelings of anyone, or sadden the heart of any person...”
(From a letter of The Universal House of Justice, 12 Jan, 1997.

Recognizing that this story met both criteria (not offensive, difficult to relate to the humour), I opened my delete file, read it again, and gave myself a good belly laugh. And you know what? I felt better! It was a real reminder not to take myself too seriously!

What is your experience with humour and how it helped? What’s your favorite funniest story of all times? Post your thoughts here!

Courage and Teaching the Bahá'í Faith

I’ve been meaning to write a blog for quite awhile, and the task seemed too daunting, so I’ve been putting it off, finding other things to do. Lying awake for several hours the other night, what came to me was the degree of terror it’s causing me – to put myself and my ideas out there for people to see and judge; afraid I’ll come across as sanctimonious, or “know-it-all”, or “holier than thou”, or even worse, perfect!

As I prepare the content of my new website, advertising my skills as a Bahá'í-inspired life coach, I realize just how much courage it will take for me to “go live”, and the following quote came to mind.

The source of courage and power is the promotion of the Word of God, and steadfastness in His Love. (Bahá'u'lláh, Bahá'í World Faith, p. 141.)

It’s always struck me as curious – not at all what you would expect for the source of courage . . .

So many of us (in Canada, at least) hold back on teaching, especially in the currently popular door-to-door campaigns, thinking we don’t have the courage it takes, forgetting about the courage shown by our brothers and sisters in Iran, and yet, this quote seems to suggest that courage comes from teaching.

A few years ago, I pioneered to Labrador, a remote part of Canada, a virgin territory where the closest Bahá'í was 8 hours away. I’ll never forget the day I got on the plane with a desire to serve, a love for Bahá'u'lláh, a longing to teach and all my remaining earthly possessions: my cats and their food, bowls and kitty litter, my laptop, clothes, a pot, frying pan, 2 sets of cutlery, plates, bowls and mugs, (so I could invite someone for a meal) – everything I needed to get started in a new location. I looked at my keychain, void of keys. I’d sold my furniture, my car and didn’t have a place to live when I arrived or any contacts to help me find housing. Now that took courage!

When I turned 50, I wanted to do something really big, to symbolize leaving fear behind and walking confidently into the future, so I decided to go skydiving! During the half hour flight to the drop zone, my smile was as wide as it’s ever been – until they opened the door! And then, I experienced a degree of terror such as I’ve never known! Fortunately I’d planned for this eventuality, deciding on a tandem jump, so the jumpmaster’s job was to peel my hands off the back of the pilot’s seat and push me out of the plane! (you can see the pictures on the website, once it’s up).

As soon as we were in free-fall, all the fear had gone, and my smile was back. Even though we were hurtling down to the ground for 6000 feet of freefall before pulling the cord of the parachute, there was no sense of falling. Instead, it felt as if I was suspended in mid-air, held safely in the hands of God, and I wanted to stay that way forever.

The “source of all courage is the promotion of Word of God, and steadfastness in His Love” – would I have been able to make that jump if I hadn’t been actively teaching? Something for me to ponder and be grateful!

What gives you courage? Post your comments here.

Welcome to YOUR Blog!

I’m new to the world of blogging and plan to develop this site into a forum which will become interactive, with people all over the world learning to share their ideas on how to apply the teachings of the Bahá'í Faith to everyday life situations.

It’s hard to just write for the sake of writing, especially when I am busy setting up a new Bahá'í-inspired life coaching practice. There are so many other tasks pulling me in different directions, and even more especially when I really don't know exactly what YOU want to learn more about.

So . . .

I'm ASKING you . . . what would you like to know more about? After all, this is YOUR blog. So post some comments about what you'd like to see, and I'll start the ball rolling by writing about it. Fair enough? :)

Post your comments here.